Before I begin, I am the The Polyamorous Mother Waking Her Baby With Her Orgasm Noises.

*waves*

That was a week in my sex life. Pretty honest view into how I feel regarding sex, our poly, my sex life with myself. Very honest view into how freaking fed up I’ve been with the kids. Not my best writing ever, but I’m rusty. All in all, I am quite pleased and rather proud.

Have you read it yet? Okay good.

Now I am going to ask you to break the great rule of the internet, if you are a thoughtful person, and ask you to read the comments. Skim them if you have to, goodness knows there are quite a few.

This post is about the comments.

It's true

It’s true

To be honest, so far they are nowhere near as bad as I expected them to be. As of yet I have not received death or rape threats, and as I am openly a woman on the net, the lack of them is sadly – surprising. In writing what I wrote, how I wrote it, I was consciously breaking a number of the sins of writing online as a woman. In the diary, I expressed extreme frustration with Motherhood. Shared that I masturbate for my own pleasure and for stress relief. Off the bat, I openly stated that I have herpes.

I have herpes. Have HPV too. These things happen. You cannot shame me because of my status, because I am not ashamed. Nor, do I, or anyone else, have any reason to be.

I’ve asked my friends and loves not to feed the trolls, but there are a few things I’d like to comment on here.

  • The Governess is a Doctor Who reference wrapped in an inside joke. She isn’t our nanny. Though, this idea makes me laugh rather hard.
  • I do not feel the need to defend my parenting, as I know that I am a superb parent. This was a sex diary, not a diary of what I do on a daily basis for my children.
  • The woman who felt the need to comment about an award for making it through the day without masturbating baffles me. Masturbation is safe, healthy, and a massive stress reliever. If the kids are engrossed in something/napping and I can get myself off privately in the amount of time it takes most people to use the facilities…What’s the problem here? Oh, right. /sigh

The amount of slut shaming in there is awe inspiring. Expected, but still awe inspiring. The assumption that I am a terrible mother who hates her children because I express both frustration with them and a desire for an active and enthusiastic sex life is really bullshit.

What I wish to tell the commenters at the piece in the end though, is thank you. You have refuelled my fire. If I’m upsetting y’all, that means I’m living my life exactly how I want to. The underlying fear and loathing in those comments? That makes me proud. I’ve shed a lot of the bullshit and toxicity of our culture, am living my life freely, openly and honestly.

Now, I want to write another one.

***Yeah, I know. I yadda yadda’d the threesome. Sorry folks, I just don’t write explicitly about my sex life. It doesn’t work for me, makes me feel off. Trust me though, it was awesome***

Commenters were right about one thing, I did vote for Obama. Twice.

7 Responses to Poly Mom, NY Mag Sex Diarist, and Reading The Comments

  1. I’m sure you’d rather have trolls than indifference..

  2. Epiphora says:

    Dude. I’m mad at you for making me read those comments. What kind of ideal mother are these imbeciles imagining? Jesus christ.

  3. Pete Schult says:

    The woman who felt the need to comment about an award for making it through the day without masturbating baffles me. Masturbation is safe, healthy, and a massive stress reliever. If the kids are engrossed in something/napping and I can get myself off privately in the amount of time it takes most people to use the facilities…What’s the problem here? Oh, right. /sigh

    That was the comment that really set me off. I know there’s this idea out there that depriving oneself of pleasure is somehow virtuous, but why do we still have it? Can’t we get rid of that puritanism (that goes way back before the Puritans)? Moderation in all things, including moderation, the Middle Path, and all that, but can we get away from self deprivation?

    • Crista Anne says:

      And why does it have to mean that because I did once…mean that all I do is mastubate? How does that mean that I’m not attentive? How is that so different from taking a bath or reading a book to destress?

      I’m literally too tired for this *smile* and am getting back into my bed.

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