(This was originally posted on tumblr.)
When did you learn about self-pleasure?
I think I was a pretty late bloomer when it comes to getting off—I was about fifteen, which is also roughly when I started reading erotic fanfic. And the first time I had an orgasm was pretty dorky—I decided I was going to try to have one, and fantasised that I was my RP character getting fingered by her boyfriend. Before then I’d touched myself, but decided it was taking too long, so gave up—but this time, I was tapping my clit and just kept going. It felt like an uphill struggle, but then suddenly oh—oh—oh—OH!!!!! And that was my concentration shot for at least the next two weeks. I couldn’t think of anything other than having another one for ages. I’m pretty sure my grades dipped a little. I managed to regain some focus before I did any lasting damage to my GPA, but thinking about sex and fantasising can still keep me from doing any work for hours.
Did your parents talk to you about masturbation? Do you use sex toys?
My parents were open about sex, though I’m quite sure we never talked about masturbation. Even after I’m pretty sure they overheard me, ah, brushing my teeth with my electric toothbrush for a really long time one night… That didn’t work brilliantly, so I didn’t get a vibrator till I went to university and absolutely loved it, even though it was pretty much the cheapest one I could find. A year or so I got my first Fun Factory vibrator, and I’ve got tremendous brand loyalty for them—it lasted me a good four years of vigorous use, and I’ve got another one now. I really really want a magic wand, so I’m planning to buy myself one for my next birthday. I usually use a vibrator on my clit, and sometimes add another for penetration, but I can get off just using my fingers too.
How is your sexual relationship with yourself? What is your comfort level with talking about it now?
I feel like my sexual relationship with myself is pretty fantastic. I masturbate a fair amount (probably about four times a week), sometimes because I really want to and sometimes because it helps me get to sleep, which I feel is a bit cheap of me, because I would still prefer to wank just for pleasure. I’ve done a lot of sexual self-discovery over the past few years, shedding a lot of value judgements about sex that were never really mine, just attitudes I’d taken on from society, and learning to accept my (generally kinky) fantasies as healthy and good for me. And I love talking about it! To the extent that I sometimes worry that people think I’m a one-track record (though I’ve asked and they’ve assured me I’m not, and a couple of people have said they enjoy living vicariously through my stories) and am not sure if I’m going overboard answering these questions—but I am just so much happier being sex-positive and I just want to share these ideas that have made me feel so great about myself. Masturbation is still harder to talk about than sex with other people, though—I guess because it’s quite a private pleasure and is so closely entwined with fantasies. Mechanically I’m happy sharing what gets me off, but because I’m kinky my fantasies can get a bit dark. That leads into a whole other discussion of the difference between fantasising about something and actually wanting it to happen, which I’m happy to explain anonymously on the internet, but I don’t want someone in real life not getting it and walking away with the wrong ideas about me and my feminism.
(This was originally posted on tumblr.)
When did you learn about self-pleasure?
i learned about self pleasure at a very young age. i began masturbating at around 7 or 8 years old, not that i knew what i was doing at the time. I had separation anxiety as a child, and had nightmares almost regularly. It helped me get to sleep so I did it often. around age 10 i realized it wasnt really making me feel like i had to pee but was actually making me feel good. and so i did it for the sole purpose of pleasure for the first time around that age and so began my life of fapping to sexy people and fantasies, ah bliss! to this day it still helps me fall asleep, too. i masturbate on the regular and lately have become more adventurous with it
Did your parents talk to you about masturbation?
They never have, and probably never will since im 22 now haha. I’m okay with that, though. I feel very educated and could school them on the topics.
What is your comfort level with talking about it now?
I’m still getting used to being more open about my own life, which includes my sex life. im a very private person. Even at 17 I felt uncomfortable admitting i did it because it seemed like it was something only men should do and very shameful, but nowadays i care a lot less and if the topic comes up with certain people i will share if they ask. It’s a natural, enjoyable thing to do and i am very sex positive currently so i support it!
Do you use sex toys?
I don’t. Not because I have anything against them, but because i dont own any and cant afford to buy one. I think they’re pretty great to be honest and if anyone wants to use them, go for it. they can help you explore yours and/or your partners body and learn what you like.
How is your sexual relationship with yourself?
i would consider it to be quite grand. i know what im comfortable with and what i like and what gets me off. i am struggling to be comfortable with others but re: my own self pleasure, its fine.
(This was originally posted on tumblr.)
When did you learn about self-pleasure? Did your parents talk to you about masturbation? What is your comfort level with talking about it now? Do you use sex toys? How is your sexual relationship with yourself?
Answer here. Reblog. Send me an anon ask. Submit to my blog if you don’t want to post on your own. Email me (Crista at gmail) and I’ll publish here with or without your name.
I want to know your story. I want to listen. I want to share.
May makes me happy for so many reasons.
Growing up on the Frozen Tundra, may was the first month you could reliably count on to not be buried under snow. It’s my birthday month and I’m really into birthdays. Here in Virginia, it’s astoundingly beautiful. Lush, green and not yet too hot for me.
Then we have National Masturbation Month. I remember when I learned about the history regarding Dr Elders and Good Vibes creating the space to celebrate masturbation in response. There were lightbulbs. It was one of my defining moments of “I’m not alone” in my sex-positive views.
Working in the sex toy stores, I had become evangelical about sex toys. Pre-store days, I had always been very pro-masturbation/pro-normalizing masturbation, but I didn’t really have a sex-pos/sex toy philosophy. Was unaware of the sex positive movement. I was more or less “Crista, that pink haired girl who likes to talk about sex”.
A bit into finding my calling in the stores, masturbation month rolled in and I discovered My People. Shortly after I read “Real Live Nude Girl” by Dr Carol Queen for the first time. Discovered CATT. Got to know Metis. Started finding sex-pos spaces on the net. MY PEOPLE!
Being me in Texas wasn’t the easiest thing. My job was technically illegal and I worried every day that I was going to get arrested for selling someone a pocket rocket. There were people picketing my stores. Sure, we sold sex toys and I worked a lot in the gayborhood, but it was still Texas. Customers still treated me like part of the merchandise. I could be as sex-pos as possible, but my environment was astoundingly sex-neg. As I moved up into management and buying for my locations, the hard limits in what I could do became clear and became stifling.
In that space is where I discovered that outside of my small bubble there was a much larger one that was actually fighting for the same things I wanted to. I had people. People who I did not need to persuade into thinking that masturbation was a normal and healthy facet of sexuality. I could yell “masturbation” and they would shout back “fuck yeah!!”
National Masturbation Month was the birth of my making sense, not just the month of my actual birth. The knowledge it existed was the creation of my context. It’s the happiest month of the year for me.
This thing on?
Hi everyone! I have no idea what happened to the month of June, it fell into a black hole of having the black plague of an endless head cold, computer problems and a sudden extended trip out of town. More than that, I landed a few new jobs (Woo! MONEY) that have me writing something akin to a small novel every month. After I’m done doing this *paid* writing I haven’t had words for myself. After a month I’m adjusting and starting to have time for myself. Huzzah.
Anyway – I post bearing an “I’m sorry for falling off the face of the earth” with a grainy middle of the night webcam pic. Implied nudity makes up for silence, Right?
So, my darlings, how have you been?
More Wanton Goodness!
June is here! This means my favorite month has passed, I am another year older, it is now hotter than hell in Virginia and it’s time to announce the winner of my May Giveaway, Lisa C! Congratulations and enjoy whatever goodness you pick up from Fascinations!
To get personal in a not-so-sexy way, some real life stuff kicked me while I was down over the last little bit. Mostly sorted out now, but what that means is that my one chance to send out the items from my Everything Must Go Sale was lost last week. To make up for the delay I’m sending out extra goodies and packages WILL BE SENT OUT TOMORROW! Seriously. For real. I swear on a stack of Pure Wands. There are a few items of glorious orgasmic wonder left if you’re interested and shockingly Facebook did not delete my page over dong pictures. Course, they also haven’t taken down the newest incarnation of the “Stop Abortion, Kill Sluts” page, so facebook doesn’t get any brownie points.
Now I am off to lovingly pack sexy items in packages for folks. Happy June my sugar muffins!
As some of you darlings may know, Tantus released a limited edition beauty of a dildo, the Dark Vamp, with all proceeds going to the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. (Which Team Tantus will be a part of. Which reminds me, I want a Team Tantus t-shirt.) There are only 15 of these Dildos Against Cancer left before Tantus hits their goal! So if you want your orgasms to come with the added bonus of fighting against cancer, grab one while you still can.
For more motivation check out Violet Blue’s post about the Dark Vamp – Dildos Against Caner: Make Your Next Toy a Tantus “Dark Vamp”
Right now I am getting my new beauty set up, her name is Hysterical Harlot, but shortly posting will return. With this return and this beautiful new machine? VIDEO REVIEWS!!! WOO!!
Everyone who hit up the Everything Must Go Sale or dropped something in my tip jar? I love you more than I have words right now. Something popped up today but sale items should go out tomorrow. Thanks for your patience.
Now, back to petting my new precious. <3
About PSG/Crista AnneCrista Anne is a Progressive Pleasurist, Executive Director/Foundress of Dildology.org and Sex-Postive Parent with her Partner In Everything - X. Valentine Orenda. She loves sleep, coffee, rainbow hued anything and her beloved Green Bay Packers.
Follow @Pinkness on twitter or look for utter randomness on tumblr
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