Feeling Good Stuff

This is a short tale that explains a great deal of why I am exactly as I am, and how highlights how freaking fantastic my Mother is.

There have been ultrasound of fetuses masturbating in the womb, which while I cannot prove this, I am positive I was one of them. From infancy on I have been a masturbating fiend. According to my Mom, from the moment I realized I had control of my hands they were on my vulva. Don’t remember when I realized what I was doing was masturbation. I called it my “Feeling Good Stuff”.

masturbation thoughts

One of my first clear memories is my mother having a conversation with my tyke self. As I was about to go off to pre-school (maybe kindergarden?) she was explaining that my Feeling Good Stuff was something that I should only do at home cause it was private, special Crista Time. No scare tactics, no negativity, just that it was a special at home activity. The fact that it was now a special thing made it all the more fun. Home from school? FGS Time! Can’t fall asleep? Feeling Good Stuff to the rescue.

I do not remember a time in my life when I wasn’t masturbating nearly every day.

At Mcon I repeated this story to a few people as I expressed my extreme gratitude that I was not raised in a sex-negative environment. Since then I have tried to comb my memories for exactly when I realized I was masturbating, but no idea. Obviously it wasn’t a moment of great realization. I do clearly remember reading through a Women’s Interest mag of either my Mom or Grandmother’s where the author was bemoaning the fact she couldn’t talk to her daughter about masturbation. I was probably 13 and I very clearly remembering thinking how weird the concept that someone couldn’t talk about masturbating.

It’s just masturbation. What’s the big deal?

As an adult I firmly believe that this plays a huge role in why I have never really had an issue achieving orgasm*. I’ve been doing it as long as I’ve been alive and there was never any shame attached to it.

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